(Jennifer) I had
slept fairly well the night before, but once I woke up the nerves started
kicking in. I felt excited, worried,
happy and sad all at the same time. That morning I really wanted to do something
special as a family…but I had no clue what.
I was struggling with saying “goodbye” to our family of four, my heart
felt a little torn. Justin kept asking
me why are you sad? We’re still going to
be a family. And while yes this was
true, as a mama I was concerned about how much having a baby brother would
change Hannah & Emma’s world ~ now they would need to share us even more than they already do.
So with these thoughts heavy on my heart, I kept daydreaming
about our last morning and how special it
would be. Silly me, I must have
forgotten that our daughters are 3 YEARS OLD! It was chaos. At one point Emma was nearly naked running
around the backyard half covered in mud.
Our beautiful little girls were simply happy and goofy as could be.
(Justin) When I
awoke that day I recall reciting to myself “make
today special, be patient with the girls.”
This was an extra stressful day,
as we were ready to finally see our new son.
I knew the girls would be challenging while Jen and I attempted to
prepare for our trip to the hospital. Hannah and Emma were 3 years old and full
of life. They required so much entertainment and Chase would not be there to
watch after them until just before we were supposed to leave. I remember
thinking why didn’t we ask him to come
way earlier. You may think that one would be prepared in advance for such
an event, especially since it was on our calendar for quite some time. Well
with twin 3 year old daughters and a very pregnant wife, there is rarely a
prepared moment in our lives. Somehow, we seem to function well.
That morning I pretty much let the girls get away with
whatever they wanted. They got popsicles in the morning, played in the dog
house and ran through the sprinklers in their pajamas. All of these things were
the least of my worries that day. For some reason I was far more concerned
about the operation this time than I was with the girls. Perhaps it was due to
the fact that the girls came a couple of days early and we really didn’t know
what to expect. This time around we were leaving our home to go to an appointment
to have another child. Weird. In addition we had a much better idea of what
to expect. Chase showed up on time and we were able to catch one last photo of
the Starr foursome for the last time. With bags in hand and nerves on edge we
headed to Chandler Regional Medical Center to have Baby Boy Starr.
(Jennifer) As we
snapped our last photo as a family of four, my eyes started to welt up. Hannah noticed my reaction right away and
wanted me to hold her. She sensed that
something big was going to happen but I don’t think either of our girls truly
understood. I was so happy that my
brother was there to watch and play with them.
The girls adore him and I knew that right after we left, they would all
have lots of fun.
We arrived at the hospital on time to check in. The front desk starting in with all the
questions …and I felt myself getting more and more nervous. It was so weird because I wasn’t really
nervous prior, when I had my twin girls. I remember just feeling so relieved because I
knew that my body couldn’t handle carrying them any longer (as they were full
term twinzies). I was also, completely
oblivious because I had never been through this before ( c-section). However this time, I remembered nearly
everything….I was getting scared. I was
also really shook up because now I was already
a mom, I worried what if something happens?
What about my baby girls (and son to be)? It’s a vulnerable feeling when you have
children to care for and you know you’re about to get cut open.
The nurses started in with all the prep work. Justin could tell I was extra nervous because
I wasn’t talking much. I was so aware of
everything medically that was happening, I was full of fear. Then, all of a sudden I heard the sound of a
nearby newborn baby cry. And then I lost it…the tears started falling and
I could barely keep it together. In that
moment I was reminded what was REALLY about to happen…I was about to become a mom
again. That sweet sound was just the reminder I needed, that is what this was REALLY all about. We were about to bring our baby boy into this
world.
Finally it was time.
They wheeled me out to the operating room, right past my parents who were
waiting in the hallway. I could feel my
heart pounding. It was time to say
goodbye to Justin for a few minutes while they administered the epidural and
got me prepped. It seemed like it took
forever! Once the epidural was over I
felt a little better, I had this really strong sense of just wanting and needing
Justin to be in the room with me. It
felt like it took FOREVER before they let him come in. All of sudden I started to feel super nauseous..and I got scared. Oh no, what’s going to happen. Luckily the anesthesiologist was really great
and was able to get my nausea under control.
I just keep taking deep breaths and was so anxious for the surgery to be
over.
(Justin) As we
were sitting in the prep area and the nurses were starting IVs and collecting
even more data I grew increasing nervous. I just wanted the surgery to be over
with and everyone to be healthy and resting in our hospital room. I was seated
outside of the OR and remember that it seemed to take forever compared to what
I experienced with the girls. Time was in “fast forward” motion with the twins
but now it was in “slow” motion. Finally it was time. Jen was getting nauseas
and the anesthesiologist was pushing drugs and adjusting things to help
overcome her stomach. Then the anesthesiologist said “ok dad, you can look now”. Just then I saw our baby boy being
lifted in the air. At first I noticed he didn’t cry and my heart sunk. Then all
of the sudden we heard a “bobcat growl”. This kid was loud and healthy. I instantly began to tear up and remember the
exact way I felt with the girls. It is this overwhelming “out-of-body”
experience of pure joy and fear all at the same time. I looked back at Jen and
saw her smile. That beautiful smile I fell in love with so many years ago. Suddenly this nurse has Hunter cradled like a
football and starts pushing through all of the people in the room, including
me. She brought Hunter right over to mommy. I mean right away. This was new to us. I just started snapping away with
my camera. It was quite the thing to witness.
(Jennifer) Finally,
the moment had come that I was waiting for, the sound of my baby boy’s
voice. The sense of relief you feel as
a parent in that scenario is incredible.
I just started calling out for him, telling him I was right there and
that everything was okay. It’s really
wild what your human, motherly instincts direct you to do without even thinking
about it. The next thing I know the
nurse brings Hunter directly to me.
(this wasn’t something I experienced with my girls). She brought him straight to me and nestled
him right next to me for a long duration of time. The amazing part was that this instantly
calmed him..he really did know my voice
and he knew I was “mom.” The next
thing that happens is I feel his little hand reach out a grab my chin, all the
nurses started gasping and saying “oh wow, look at this.” He kept his little
hand there for awhile.
(Jennifer) In that moment I
finally “got it.” You see so many moms keep telling me how “special and
different” a bond is between a mother and a son. That’s the moment
I got it. At less than a few
minutes old, my baby boy was already comforting
me. 
(Justin) I was
relieved that all was okay and he was
slowly turning more pink as he was pretty blue at first. We were then escorted
out with Jen holding the baby. Again this was different than the first time, as
the twins were placed in a bassinet and I was able to introduce them to the
family right away. This time they whisked us past Jen’s Mom and Dad and our
friend Bridget that was waiting in the hallway to get photos of little guy. This
was a very different experience than last time.
As were we in recovery waiting for our room little guy just
picked his head up to take a look around. He was so strong it made our mouths
drop and laugh at him. We
were told that it may be a while for our room so I quickly went across the
street to get a bit to eat, as I hadn’t eaten all day. I ran into Quizznos and
grabbed a sandwich. I remember sitting in the car quickly eating trying to get
back as soon as possible. Then, I received a text from Jen saying that they were
in room #421. I was disappointed I
didn’t get to go with them up to the room and push the button to play the
newborn song that plays in the hospital when there is a new arrival. When I got
back to the hospital I saw baby and mom resting in the room.
(Jennifer) Looking
back now, I actually loved the little bit of alone time I had with my baby boy
after we transported up to our room. His
warm little body on my skin felt heavenly.
He was so happy and very content.
In a weird way he seemed more advanced and less fragile than my girls
had originally seemed. Maybe it was more
about me already being more of an experienced mom…or maybe it was because there
was only one of him, he seemed so much more manageable.
Justin arrived back and about an hour or so later my parents
arrived with Hannah and Emma along with my brother Chase. This was the moment I had been daydreaming
about; seeing the girls meet their baby
brother for the very time and seeing my
three babies together. The girls
walked in the room slowly and full of wonderment. I think it was all a little overwhelming to
them. Emma instantly wanted to hold
“Baby Hunter” Hannah was very unsure.
(Justin) When the girls first came in to see Hunter the
reaction was mixed. Emma was super excited and couldn’t wait to hold him. Hannah
seemed a bit confused as to why Hunter was still not in mom’s belly. At one
moment Hunter opened his eyes and Hannah freaked out. It was sad but funny at
the same time. One of the greatest moments is when Emma held Hunter for the
first time. She was all smiles and you could tell she was very proud of
herself. The family all took turns holding little guy and visited for a good
while. After they left and night fell, things were pretty calm. I remember
thinking how easy this was compared to the twins. Granted it was only one this
time and I had a lot of experience this time around. Once he was settled down I
actually found myself able to relax a little. He slept cuddled up in Jen’s arms
for the night. All I could see was his orange hat sticking up and I listened to
his little tiger cub noises all night. He was a sleeper.
(Jennifer) Our baby was here and all was well. We were happy
and relaxed. All I did for next several
days was hold him ~all the time. I had never had one baby before, he was so
kissable and easy. He slept on me all
day and night. I remember at one point a nurse had asked me if I wanted her to
place him in his bassinet, and I said no.
She asked if I was going to be able and stay awake like that. I giggled to myself..umm yes. I was a second time (third time?) around mom, and I was breaking the rules. I knew he was safe in my arms, I wasn’t about
to let him go , he just felt way too good.
(Justin) While Jen and Hunter were resting in the hospital I
was running around town getting the final preparations completed for his
arrival at our home. With the girls down at their “Pa and Gee’s” house I was able to finally get some things
done. I got our bed comfy and purchased a co-sleeper as he was going to be
bunking with us for a while. We didn’t think it was right to put him next to
his loud sisters just yet. We only stayed 2 days this time around and baby and
momma were ready to come home. It was nerve racking to drive with him in the
car. I was reminded of the drive home with the girls. When we got him home we
placed him in his brand new bed. He was here. Finally we had our little boy and
the next chapter started. Our little Hunter Dean Starr.
